How Did I Get Here?

Do you ever ask yourself that?  It's a question I've been considering a lot lately.  I'm on the brink of turning 30 and living paycheck to paycheck.  I'm not broke as such. I live a relatively comfortable life renting with my partner but I've picked up bad habits along the way and over the past year or so I've noticed that there's just too much month left at the end of the money.

I've been lucky enough that money's never been a real cause of stress in my life thus far, and there's no single thing I can pinpoint and say "that's the cause of my financial woes".  More a series of (unfortunate) events....things I've committed to and one too many impulse purchases.  I blame blogging for the latter.  I've subscribed to multiple and blogged myself for a number of years and have an overflowing wardrobe and room full of make up as the byproduct.

The other side effect?  Running out of money mid-month.  Stressing about going overdrawn.  Knowing that I have to plan which social events to attend according to what I can afford.  I saw a meme the other day which sums up exactly how I spend.  There is no in between.

And I'm angry.  I'm angry that I've let myself reach this point.  Angry that the education system never taught me the skills to manage my money wisely.  Angry that I never took the initiative to step up and educate myself.  Angry that I'm a grown woman with no financial stability or security.

I've reached breaking point.

So something's got to give.  And that something is me.  I need to give myself the skills to move forward and get out of this mess.  I need to work hard at changing my outlook and attitude to money.  The end goal isn't riches.  It's not money in the bank and it's not an unrealistically thrifty lifestyle of scrimping and saving.

It's balance.

Options.

Financial freedom.